Friday One Minute of Excitement!

 How Can You Express The Most Wonderful You Today?

Click on the link to watch the video for a one-minute inspirational blast!

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com. 

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Making Assumptions About What Others Assume (About You)

When you are walking down the street and say, “Good Morning” to a stranger passing by, what do you assume that person assumes about you?

Even after all the work I have done to create healthy self-confidence for myself, I noticed this morning while on a walk that when I said “Good Morning” to a person I passed, I assumed that they assumed that I was of low intelligence because of my speech impediment.  Does my assumption, in fact, represent the truth of what the people I passed were thinking or anywhere close to it?  Upon reflection, I realized that I had absolutely no idea.

What inaccurate assumptions do you assume that others assume about you the moment they meet you?

Maybe we ought to say, “Hi! Glad to meet you.  I already assume that you are making assumptions about me and, just so you know, it is going to take you a while to prove that you are not.”

This is craziness!

Rather than enjoying the process of meeting someone, we often assume that we have to disprove assumptions that we assume the person we just met is assuming about us.

(This is lots of assuming and the other person has barely said anything yet!)

Or we could just state flat out what we assume the person we just met is thinking.  In my case, I could say, “Hi, I’m Jason! It’s awesome to meet you.  And by the way, I already assume that you assume that I’m of very low intelligence because of the sound of my voice.  Want to be friends?”  (This approach might be slightly awkward.)

If we are going to naturally make assumptions about what people we are just meeting think of us, why not replace our disempowering assumptions with empowering ones?

For example, Daniel instantly assumes that whenever he meets someone, they are making the assumption that he is a goof-off and not professional.  He could work to become fully conscious of this assumption and then consciously tell himself when he meets people that they instantly admire him, want to be his friend, and see him as a professional.  Of course, Daniel is still making assumptions, but now the assumptions that he is making work in his favor.

What would it be like to assume that when people meet us, they instantly see someone they like, someone they admire, and someone they want to be friends with?

Game of the Day

If you find yourself assuming that people you just have met are making inaccurate or negative assumptions about you:

  1. Practice becoming fully conscious of these assumptions.
  2. Practice replacing these limiting assumptions with positive assumptions.

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com.

The One Side of the Mirror Over Which We Have Control

A few days ago, I observed a guy asking for money on the street.  Part of his sign said, “I’m Ugly.”  I felt for him and those feelings, as well as the feeling that he had to stand on the street with a sign to make ends meet.

To varying degrees, I have noticed that we attract reflections of who we believe ourselves to be into our lives.

When we stand in front of the mirror, what comes back to us is an echo of who are.  If I suddenly put on a cap, the person in the mirror suddenly puts on a cap.  Likewise, if I change the way I view myself, the world will, in some way, mirror this change back to me.  This is the simple language of mirrors and of life.

We intuitively know this, yet it is tempting to focus on changing or trying to manipulate the reflection in the mirror instead of focusing on our attitudes towards ourselves.

After I saw the guy standing on the street with the sign, I started wondering how often I have thought and felt the words “I’m Ugly,” or “I’m Not Good Enough” or something of the like.  I never made such a sign but I felt it through and through.  At those times, it’s almost as if I held up an Agonizing Invisible Sign of self-doubt and pain.

But there is awesome news!  Want to hear it?  If we can create invisible signs of self-doubt and pain, we can also create Magnificent Invisible Signs of confidence, self-love and joy.

Imagine walking into a business meeting with the invisible sign, “I’m Amazing” or walking into a party with an invisible sign, “I’m Full of Joy and Confident.”

We are magnificent people.  We deserve to hold up magnificent invisible signs. And we deserve to see the world reflect that magnificence back to us.

Game of the Day

Today notice the invisible signs that you are holding up.

How could you rewrite those signs to celebrate your magnificence?

Notice people who reflect your magnificent signs and become their friends because you reflect their best and they reflect your best.


Our Magnificent Bodies

We know confidence is attractive to our spouse, our significant other, or, if we are single, to potential dating partners.  In The Joy Factor, Susan Smith Jones writes, “Living our best life means appreciating our magnificent bodies.”

Unfortunately for me and countless other men and woman this can be a daunting task.  We think of our physical bodies and too often instantly become experts in identifying our limitations.  We put ourselves through the wringer of self-critique and feel the exact opposite of attractive.

In Notes on the Need for Beauty, J. Ruth Gendler writes “Beauty [or handsomeness] becomes a forbidden quality because most of us feel it can’t belong to us…. often we are blocked from experiencing [our] beauty by feelings of shame and ugliness.”

Our minds interpret the bodies we see in the mirror.  This means we all could have the absolutely gorgeous bodies, but if our minds don’t allow us to be beautiful or handsome, we will never experience ourselves as beautiful or handsome.  Mirrors may not lie, but our minds definitely create interpretations of what we see in the mirror.

For years I looked in the mirror and interpreted what I saw as disability.  Just like I have a nose and ten fingers, it’s true that I’m less coordinated than many people and that my voice is at times harder to understand than the voices of most people.

But the concept that I was disabled and therefore less lovable had nothing to do with the reflection I was seeing in the mirror.  My “disability” had everything to do with a painful story I was making up in my head.  When I said I was disabled, I was authentically expressing a story in my head, but definitely not authentically “appreciating my magnificent body.”

The same can be said about ideal body weight.  There’s a multitude of websites having to do with ideal body weight.  We may be over or under the weight we are quoted on these sites.  This figure simply reflects how our body weight fits into the tables on the websites.  However, we sometimes use this figure to say we do not have magnificent bodies.  This assessment is a painful story created in our heads.

When I heard, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” I always interpreted this phrase as meaning I should look for a woman who would find me stunningly handsome and sexy.  So for most of my life I have been on an epic search for this woman.

What I overlooked is that I’m the initial beholder of my own beauty.  It is highly helpful to be able to recognize my own beauty first, so I can pass this recognition on to others through my ease and confidence.

How do we become powerful first beholders of our own beauty?  Maybe a place to begin is by consciously using exciting, invigorating and refreshing language to think and talk about our bodies. Whenever that old, familiar refrain of body image doubt enters your mind, say to yourself and to others, “I’m magnificent,” or “I’m amazingly beautiful” or “I’m incredibly handsome” or go for the gold and declare, “I’m Hot AND Sexy.”

This way of thinking and speaking may well feel uncomfortable and even embarrassing at first.  We have often been used to authentically expressing the painful stories about our bodies that we created in our heads.

For a change, why not try speaking in a way that you authentically appreciate your magnificent body.

You and I are our own first beholders.  We have the power to celebrate, honor and rejoice in the bodies we see in the mirror.

 Game of the Day

Whenever that old, familiar refrain of body image doubt enters your mind, say to yourself and to others, “I’m magnificent,” or “I’m amazingly beautiful” or “I’m incredibly handsome” or go for the gold and declare, “I’m Hot AND Sexy.”