Feeling Joy and Eagerness Around the Creation of Your Dream

The original title of this post was “From Fear and Frustration Around Your Present Situation To Feeling Joy and Eagerness Around the Creation of Your Dream.”  I shortened the title because it seemed both long-winded and heavy on the “Fear and Frustration” part.  However, I appreciated the former title’s directness because it reflects the truth of the struggle that we sometimes find ourselves in.  Some days it feels like we are gazing at the distant majestic and serene castle of our dreams from the cardboard box of our present lives.  (We might feel like we are living in a cardboard box in terms of our relationships, our work, our health or another area of life.)

Have you ever experienced these days?  These are days when you feel much more inclined to count your failures on all your fingers and toes, instead of counting your blessings.  These are days when instead of making a gratitude list you feel like filling up page after notebook page with FRUSTRATION LISTS.  These are days when your dreams seem like mere fairy tales and your present situation seems to be fairly YUCK.

Have you ever experienced these days?  I sure have!

These days give us a “cardboard box perception” of our lives.

Our present situations are often different from the situations of our dreams and through the lens of our “cardboard box perception” we amplify this difference.   And when we shine our laser focus on this difference, we often naturally get bogged down in frustration, overwhelm, definitely discontentment, and even fear.  This mix of emotions can feel downright miserable.  In an effort to escape this misery, it is tempting to repeatedly say NO to the “cardboard box perception” that we feel ourselves to be living in.

In the act of saying NO, we focus on the “cardboard box perception” that we are saying NO to instead of saying YES! to the castle of our dreams.  The more we dwell on what we are saying NO to the more we focus on that very thing.  It is like we are writing a long essay entitled No I Don’t Want To Live In A “Cardboard Box.”  To write this essay, we have to concentrate on our “cardboard box perception” to find the reasons that we don’t want to live there. 

While tempting and even downright seductive, concentrating on our “cardboard box perception” does not fill us with the wisdom we need to live in the castle of our dreams.

So today, let’s all focus on the castles of dreams and the wonderful feelings that will come from living in our castle.  Let’s live those castle feelings of today!

Game of the Day

What does it feel like to live in the castle of your dreams?

How can you live those castle feelings today?

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com. 

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Happiness After Making a Mistake

A few weeks ago, I was having a nice and relaxing drive on my way to yoga.  This all changed at a stoplight.  When I stopped at the red light, I thought the on-coming car was far enough back that I decided to turn right.  As soon as I turned, it was clear that the on-coming car did not at all agree with my assessment.  They sounded their horn as they followed me.   Then when I parked a few blocks beyond the stoplight, they honked again and gave me gestures of notable disapproval.  It was clear that they thought I had made a major mistake in turning the corner too close in front of them and I, after reflecting upon my decision, agreed with their assessment.

Mistakes can lead us to mistake our own identity.  Instead of a brilliant person who has happened to make a mistake, we can let the mistake alter the way we view ourselves.

How do you feel when you make a mistake?

We know to learn from our mistakes.  But natural feelings that might arise can hinder this learning process.  (And make us feel miserable at the same time.)  Along with shock and confusion, feelings of guilt, frustration and self-lack can come when we dwell on our weakness after making a mistake.  These feelings, though natural and sometimes very tempting to cling to, most likely do not aid us in our process of learning from the mistake and definitely do not help our peace of mind.

We probably learn best when we are relaxed, happy and willing to expand our knowledge.  So after we make a mistake, restoring our happiness, concentration and willingness to expand (as soon as we are able) is an important step.  Then from this place of clarity, we can ask ourselves questions like, “What can I learn from my mistake?” and  “How can my mistake help me and other people to do things in a different way in the future?”

We are extraordinary people.  Sometimes extraordinary people make mistakes.  With practice, we can teach ourselves to focus on our extraordinary nature even as we deal with the consequences of our mistakes and learn the wisdom that our mistakes have to teach us.

Game of the Day

How is this blog of use to you?

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com.

Bringing Fascination to Our Frustrating Habits

We often attempt to deal with our frustrating habits through guilt, secrecy, and misery.

Today I’m experimenting with a different approach, dealing with frustrating habits through fascination.

I will use my habit of overeating as an example.  I feel that I eat until I’m beyond full at least once a day.

I’m fascinated because I keep doing the same thing over and over again.

A week ago, I walked to a local diner, had a Mexican scramble and even an extra tortilla and I was full and satisfied.  Then, I arrived home and felt I deserved desert.  So, I ate this peanut butter chocolate and peanut mix, which I recently discovered that I could buy in bulk. After dipping my hand in the plastic bag holding the mix too many times, I felt Beyond Full.

I’m fascinated because I keep doing the same thing over and over again.

Tonight, just before beginning to type this blog, wouldn’t you know it, déjà vu!  I had just woken up from a nap.  I knew even before my feet even hit the carpet that I was full.  However, I had the thought that I had just purchased a fresh bag of that peanut butter chocolaty stuff.  And pretty soon, I was dipping my hand into the bag over and over again, while I sat in front of the computer thinking about what I was going to blog about.  Now once again I feel Beyond Full.

And yes, you got it.   I’m fascinated because I keep doing the same thing over and over again.

Part of me thinks that it would be nice if there were a gauge that would tell me when I was full, before I crossed into the Bloated-Feeling Land of Beyond Full.  And I guess there is.  The General Solution to my daily over-eating is counting calories or even more simply paying attention to when my body is telling me enough is enough.

I’m fascinated that I know exactly how to release myself from this habit, but still make the decision to do the same thing over and over again.

As you might imagine, I have told very few people about this fascinating and frustrating habit of mine.  (Well, I guess that is until now.)  I have kept this secret close to the belt, (Ha! Ha!) because, well, it is more than somewhat uncool and really down-right awkward to go around telling people that I feel that I over-eat on an almost daily basis.

I’m fascinated that I’m telling you all of this.

My hope is that being fascinated with my frustrating habit of over-eating will create something other than the cycle of guilt and secrecy that has surrounded this habit.  (Well, definitely the secrecy that has surrounded the bulk peanut butter chocolaty thing that I eat is no more).

(Please keep in mind that this fascination approach to dealing with frustrating habits is just an experiment I came up with tonight and is not meant to replace other approaches to dealing with habits and addictions.)

 Game of the Day

1.  Do you have a frustrating habit that you are dealing through guilt and secrecy?

Each time you chose to participate in this habit say, “I’m fascinated because I keep doing the same thing over and over again.”

2.  What would be the general solution to your frustrating habit?  Write down the general solution to your frustrating habit.  Then say, “I’m fascinated that I know exactly how to release myself from this habit, but still make the decision to do the same thing over and over again.”

3.  Tell someone or even better multiple people about your frustrating habit.  Then say, “I’m fascinated that I’m telling you all of this.”

4.   How does this approach of fascination with your frustrating habit work for you?

5.   What happens to the guilt, secrecy and misery that you feel around your habit?

From Painful Emotions to Joy

In this blog, I realize that I am most often talking about creating the life we want through focusing our thoughts, our awareness, our words and our dreams.  This however doesn’t mean I believe in avoiding painful emotions of frustration, sadness, anger and the like.

These emotions are part of life and often appear somewhat unpredictably in our days.  Painful emotions are important to listen to, important to accept, and important to experience.  I have found that there are often lessons in painful emotions that can help us grow and equip us to live the lives we want.

While I believe in the naturalness of all emotions, I’m now a big fan of letting the painful ones pass through my life as quickly as possible.  This interest comes after years of hanging on to painful emotions for long periods of time.  For a while, I even had a museum quality collection of painful emotions housed inside of me.  Let me tell you, not a museum you would have wanted to visit!

To me emotions are like poses in a yoga class.  Say we are disappointed that we didn’t get the job we wanted so badly.  Our disappointment is like holding ourselves in plank pose, which looks like the top part of a push up.  Our hands and knees are trembling as we hold this pose.  Our stomach and in fact our whole body begins to hurt.  To say the least, our disappointment has our full attention.

Now we have three options:

The first option is pretending that we have released the painful emotion and that everything is all right.  But we can feel the truth, inside we are still sweating and in pain because we are still holding the pose of our disappointment.

Can you imagine pretending you are relaxed and at ease while at the same time still feeling on the inside like you are holding plank pose?

The second option is that we could openly hold the pose of our disappointment for a lengthy amount of time.  This would still feel as good as holding plank for an extended period of time, but at least other people would be aware that we were disappointed.

The third option is my current favorite.  We could listen to the wisdom that our disappointment has to offer us and then set our focus towards other things.  This would be like lowering from plank pose and relaxing on our belly.

Setting our focus toward other things than the painful emotion we are experiencing takes practice, practice and more practice.  This process can take anywhere from a few minutes to a lengthy amount of time depending on many factors.

I think a key is to first allow yourself to experience the painful emotion instead of pretending it is not there.  Then take what wisdom the painful emotion has to offer you. Finally the fun part is to switch focus from the painful emotion to focusing something joyful that you want to experience.

Game of the Day

Start practicing with the next painful emotion that you experience.  First allow yourself to experience the emotion fully.  Then, take the wisdom that the painful emotion has to offer you.  Finally, switch focus from the painful emotion to something joyful you want to experience.