What’s Your Basic Assumption About People?

It’s unanimous! Everyone wants you to achieve your dreams! 

Do you believe the words in the line above? If not, how would your life be different if you deeply believed the above sentence?

I pose this question because for many years my basic assumption about people was that I needed to prove to them that I was somebody.  Armed with this assumption, I used to feel driven to debate with the strong intent of proving my point, or said in another way, I used to like to just plain argue with people.  I was a pro at getting in arguments with friends and family.  These arguments were mostly of the mild variety but arguments nevertheless.

What I gradually discovered was that I was automatically assuming that people would discount me.  And when I assumed people were going to automatically discount me, I would start to argue with them to PROVE myself to them.  And when I started arguing, they would often be motivated to defend their view and discount my opinion, thereby conveniently proving my assumption that people would discount me.  (Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy.)

All my arguments really proved was that I was good at beginning arguments.

If my basic assumption about people had been, “It’s unanimous! Everyone wants you to achieve your dreams,” would I have started so many arguments?  Of course not!  Why argue with people who wanted me to achieve my dreams?  

When we make the assumption that others are rooting for us, we offer far more respect to ourselves and everyone else.  Also believing that everyone is on our side naturally inspires us to start acting in a more positive way towards others and to minimize our arguing.  These changes in our actions empower people to be as kind and supportive towards us.

I’ve found that people are often as kind and supportive towards us as we assume them to be.

(Our general assumption about people may be occasionally disproved in practice and should not displace common sense.  We will see in the course of our interactions with some people that they, for whatever reason, definitely do not have our best interest at heart.  Then we take steps appropriate to that situation.)

Our basic assumption about other people seems to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy, kind of like how a boomerang comes right back to us.   If this is the case, I’m all for making really super-amazing assumptions about other people and about life.

Game of the Day

What is your basic assumption about how people will treat you?

Are you happy with your current assumption about how other people will treat you or do you want to experiment with making a different assumption?

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com. 

Simply Talking With Others About Your Dreams

Often we are shy to speak about our dreams for one reason or another.  So we keep our dreams safe in the secrecy of our heads and hearts.  This is a tempting course, but it can constrain our dreams from growing to their full potential.

Think about how much more powerful our dreams become when we speak them out loud, celebrate them, and take responsibility for them.

When other people know our dreams we give them an opportunity to become part of our dreams and we also inspire them to proclaim their dreams.

To role model what I’m saying, I’ll share one of my dreams with you.

This dream of mine will only take a sentence to say and yet I almost don’t want say it for fear of what you might think about my dream. (The fear that often keeps us quiet about our dreams isn’t necessarily rational, but it is there.)

 Ok, here it goes. I have a dream of being a millionaire many times over, a millionaire financially speaking, as well as, a millionaire in body, mind and spirit.

Wow! Now I can breathe a sigh of relief.  My dream only took a sentence to say and now my dream is out there in the world.  (And my dream is not only out there in the world, it is out there in the world in BOLD 14 point font.)

We can literally breathe fresh life into our dreams by proclaiming them out loud to our family, friends and co-workers. 

(And wouldn’t the people who surround us rather hear about our dreams than our complaints anyway?)

And as an amazing bonus, We Inspire the People We Love and Care About to Share Their Dreams!

(How AWESOME is that!)

Game of the Day

Think about one of your dreams.

How can you state your dream simply and clearly?

Do you have a hesitation about sharing this dream with others?

What would it be like to overcome this hesitation?

What would be some of the benefits of sharing your dreams with others?

If you choose to, who would you share your dream with?

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com. 

Stranger-To-Friend Conversations

Say you go to a big party and the only person you know is the person who invited you.  You have the chance to meet lots of new people.  Do you approach this situation with excitement or trepidation?

Our experiences in situations such as this depend a great deal on whether we assume we have things in common with people we haven’t met, or if we feel we have nothing in common.  If we assume that we will discover even the smallest tread of commonality, we begin talking.    We become excited to find out what we have in common with the person we just met, as well as the differences in our life experiences.

When we talk to strangers, we give them the opportunity to become friends even if only for a short time.

For example, as I write this, I’m flying from Dallas to San Diego.  I have quickly become friends with the two flight attendants.   We have exchanged smiles.   We have asked, “How’s your day going?”  I have offered, “You are doing a great job!”   We have shared a joke or two.

Does this mean that we will exchange phone numbers, become Facebook friends or that I will even ever see them again?  Most likely not.

However, who knows when an opportunity will come through this type of light and relaxed communication – maybe wisdom, maybe recommendations, possibly a long-term friendship.  Who knows?

But one thing is certain – this type of communication is fun and joyful in the moment.  People the world over have the wish to be happy in common, and when we share this commonality with each other we fill our lives with happiness.

Think of it, your friends were at one time strangers to you as you were strangers to them.

Now talking to strangers and giving them a chance to become friends doesn’t mean you need to instantly reveal personal info and secrets.  There still is a building of a relationship and trust.

And there are of course some situations where it clearly might be inappropriate or unsafe to talk to a stranger.  (But in my experience, I find these situations are far from common.)

When we develop even a ten-minute long friendship with someone, we give them a brief glimpse into our lifetime of experience and get a brief glimpse into theirs.  We become stronger, the world becomes a bit more friendly and peaceful.

It’s simple to have a Stranger-to-Friend Conversation: be nice, be kind, take an interest, listen, smile, laugh, ask questions, offer a bit about yourself.

These types of stranger to friend interactions don’t obligate you to send holiday cards or even set up further meetings unless you both want to.  But these Stranger-to-Friend Conversations can make a big difference in the quality of your days and your ability to discover new opportunities.

Game of the Day

 How many Stranger-to-Friend Conversations can you have today?

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com.

Become Best Friends With Your Dreams Today

We want to be able to know our dreams when we see them.  When we look at all the various opportunities on the menu of life, we want to know our dreams well enough to choose the opportunities that will lead us closer to our dreams with confidence.

Luckily, we don’t have to wait for someday to get acquainted with our dreams.  We can begin becoming best friends with them today.

Our dreams offer wisdom on how we are to achieve them.  Our dreams most often already exist in the world.   For example, say we dream of running and finishing a marathon.  This dream already exists as fulfilled in all the people who have completed a marathon.  We can learn much about the pathway to achieving our dream from them. We can meet people who have completed marathons and ask them questions or we can read books written by them.  Their wisdom can become the wisdom of our dream communicating with us.

The more we can live in conversation with our dream the more insight we will have as how to realize it.

Recently, I read a book written by Jerry and Ester Hicks*, which talks about the importance of feeling the emotions of living your dream even when it has yet to materialize.

How we feel affects what we notice and who and what is attracted to us.

When a friend is speaking, we build connection with them by showing them that we understand the emotions in his or her story.  In the same way, we can build connection with our dreams by living their joy in our present lives.

Respect the power of your dreams.  Your dreams are seeds that can grow into the reality of your future.  Respect yourself as a changing being.  We once did not even know how to crawl.  Look at all the dreams that you have realized between then and where you presently are in life.  Now think of all of your dreams that could be realized in the next few months, let alone the next five years.  Your dreams are dancing in your future.  Now is the best time to become friends with them.

* “Ask and It IS Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires”, Esther and Jerry Hicks, Hay House, 2004.

Game of the Day

Appreciate the beauty of your dreams.  Savor your dreams now.

What do they look like and sound like?  How do they feel?

How can you start to become best friends with your dreams today?

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com.