A few weekends ago, I had the privilege of attending a workshop called The Tipping Point of Bliss. Inspired by teachings conveyed by Ester Hicks, this workshop was about the effectiveness of first identifying the emotions we want to feel around a given subject and then allowing ourselves to feel those emotions on a consistent basis.
Upon reflecting on these ideas, I realize that I have often approached life with the opposite view, namely, “If I achieve such and such, then I’ll be happy.”
Since the workshop, I have been searching for ways to feel the emotions I want to feel before I act and then doing my best to feel them. This method has been very useful, especially in my approach to money.
What are you talking about now Jason? I know you just got your hair dyed and all, and maybe you are still a bit loopy from that experience. But really, money is just money. What do emotion and feelings have to do with it?
Glad you asked. I will employ two fictitious couples to demonstrate what I mean.
First meet Sally and Todd. Sally and Todd are both sheer geniuses when it comes to making money in the stock market. They can make more money in five minutes than most people could make in five lifetimes. Needless to say they are billionaires many times over.
Try to picture what their house must look like, how many amazing cars they must have, the vacations they must go on, the fun they must have.
Now the surprising thing is Sally and Todd don’t have anything you might expect. They actually live in a tiny apartment in a fairly run-down building, don’t own an automobile and haven’t gone on vacation in fourteen years. Are they happy? No, in fact, they are exceedingly miserable! They argue constantly. But they do share a feeling. They are both DEATHLY AFRAID to spend money. Sally and Todd fear that if they start to spend money on more than the “essentials,” they will spend too much money and that their success will be gone in the blink of an eye.
(Like so many fears in life, Sally and Todd’s fear isn’t rational. However, their fear dramatically affects every aspect of their life because they whole-heartedly believe it.)
People say that, “Money doesn’t buy happiness.” Sally and Todd are proof that saving it all doesn’t either.
After Sally and Todd’s somber tale, let’s check in with our second couple, Christine and Martin. Christine and Martin are pursuing their dreams. They live in a small apartment, take the same buses around town as Sally and Todd, but, unlike Sally and Todd, find ways to go on vacation. Neither Christine nor Martin is a stockbroker. In fact, they both wait on stockbrokers at Café Elegance in the financial district. Oh yes, Christine and Martin are really, really happy. From a place of happiness and love, they use the money they have to spend to express these emotions. They love buying their favorite foods at the grocery store, purchasing clothes they love to wear, and going to the movies they are passionate about seeing. Of course, Christine and Martin don’t make loads of money, but their happiness and love focuses them on using the money that they do have to create the lives they want.
Sally and Todd create their relationship with their finances from the emotions of fear and uncertainty. Even though they have mountains of money, these emotions utterly control their lives. Meanwhile, Christine and Martin create their relationship with money from a place of happiness and love.
It is interesting to look at how the emotions these two couples feel on a daily basis affect every aspect of their lives.
Game of the Day
- What emotions do you want to consistently feel around money?
- Think of specific times when you have felt these emotions in the past.
- What can you do to remind yourself to freshly feel these emotions every time you think about money?
Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker. He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska. He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset. For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com.