When Too Many People Offer You Too Many Good Opportunities All At Once: Five Tips For Turning OPPORTUNITY OVERWHELM Into OPPORTUNITY EASE

Realize That The Opportunities You Are Offered Are A Good Sign

Opportunities are exciting and a sign you are on the right track.

But sometimes there’s so much going on we start to feel short of breath and we begin to struggle with our opportunities and push them aside, almost as if our opportunities are our enemies.  At these times, it’s worthwhile to remember that opportunities are what we want.  We want to embrace our opportunities while, at the same time, managing them.

Appreciate All The Opportunities You Are Given (Even If You Decide Not To Take Some Of Them)

Let the people giving you opportunities know how grateful you are.  This is as simple as saying “I really appreciate your offer and I look forward to having a chance to think it over.”

Decide Which Opportunities Are A Good Fit For You

The opportunities that people offer you will likely require your time, energy and money.  Before taking someone up on an opportunity, really think about if you are interested in it; if it is in-line with your goals and dreams; and if you want to devote your time and resources to it.  If the answer is “Yes,” proceed with confidence.  If the answer is “No,” find a way to say a polite and definite “No Thank You.”  This “No Thank You” frees you from your obligation to engage in the opportunity.  And just as importantly, your “No” frees the person who asked you to find someone who is truly interested in his or her opportunity.

Schedule So That Not Everything Needs To Happen All At Once

If you decide to take an opportunity, schedule with the person offering you the opportunity so that the opportunity is manageable For You.  You are doing yourself a great service, as well as the person offering you the opportunity, because if you are overwhelmed it will be much harder for you to give their opportunity your full attention.

Write Opportunities You Decline Down To Give You More Choices Later

If you choose to express appreciation for an opportunity someone has given you while, at the same time, declining it by giving them a polite and definite, “No Thank You,” you might consider making note of the opportunity and then making a notation on your calendar to reconsider it in a month or two.  When you reconsider it, you may just reconfirm that you are glad you said, “No.”  Or you may realize that while you are glad you said “No” the first time, the opportunity now sounds good to you.  In this case, you have the information to contact the person and tell them that you rethought his or her offer.

Game of the Day

The next time you experience OPPORTUNITY OVERWHELM how will you use these tips to turn your overwhelm into OPPORTUNITY EASE?

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What To Do When You Encounter a POTENTIAL Bully

I’ve been asked a couple of times recently if I experienced much bullying as young person.

The answer to this question is no. Very few kids teased me about the sound of my voice or my coordination.  I find this amazing because to me it seems like a kid who talked funny, caught basketballs with his glasses, who was pretty nerdy and sometimes held himself in low esteem would be a prime target of bullies.

As I reflect on the reasons that I wasn’t a target of bullies a number of things come to mind.

First, I knew that I probably won’t fair well in a physical fight and I definitely knew that I had no desire to get hit or kicked.  Beyond this, I knew that being called names made me feel rotten, and I wanted to avoid these potential situations.  In short, I came to the realization at a young age that I had little interest in negative attention.

Understanding that you have little interest in negative attention and a great interest in positive attention is crucial when you encounter POTENTIAL bullies.  As human beings, we naturally tend to want attention from others.  Negative attention can thus be very seductive in certain situations.  However, positive attention feels so much better, especially in the long run, that I have worked to cultivate a taste for positive attention.

So when I encounter a POTENTIAL bully who might give me negative attention, I respond with one of two approaches, either by avoiding the situation or by trying to alter the situation.  I’ve found that the key to effectively using both of these approaches is to take responsibility for my actions and, there by, not let my potential bully manipulate my actions.

Take responsibility by making an effort by staying alert to situations where you could potentially be bullied.  This is like defensive driving.  Pay attention to when a person begins to get angry or act negatively towards you.  When you notice this, you can either leave the situation or try to alter the situation.

If you choose to leave the situation, make an effort to do this both politely and rapidly.  You want to leave the situation rapidly so that the situation doesn’t escalate.  And you want to be polite as you leave so that the potential bully is less likely to follow you and less likely to be angry with you if you encounter them in the future.

If you choose to stay and try to alter the situation, your first step is to set boundaries by ignoring the negative behavior.  This can be very hard to do because negative behavior can make us angry and fill us with the desire to defend ourselves or fight back.

But such responses only feed the POTENTIAL bully’s fire.  So do everything in your power to ignore the situation.

As you ignore the situation, attempt to alter the situation by initiating a positive interaction.  This can be a simple as being silent and smiling.  Or you can attempt to get your POTENTIAL bully talking about what they love to do.  I found that people often naturally feel like being friendly when they are talking about what they love to do.

If your attempts to set boundaries and alter the situation don’t help the POTENTIAL bully start to interact with you in a more positive manner and even to start to see you as a POTENTIAL friend, politely leave the situation.  It’s not your responsibility to continue to interact with people who do not treat you in a positive manner.

Game of the Day

What are you going to do the next time you encounter a POTENTIAL bully?

 

Saying No Without Creating Drama

I found the key to saying “no” to anybody from telemarketers to significant others is to always honor the person and your relationship with them as you say “no.”

Honor the person making the request that you are saying “no” to by first by giving them basic respect.  Even though it might be tempting, try not to hang up on anybody including telemarketers.  And listen, even to telemarketers, long enough to understand what they are asking of you.

Honor the person by clearly saying “no” to their request.  Make it clear that you understand their request, and at the same time that you are choosing to saying “no” to their request.  This is much more effective than hinting around that you are a “no” or saying “maybe” when you are really “no.”

Remember, “no” means “no.”  It is sometimes tempting to go into an extensive explanation about why you are saying “no.”  This explanation just takes up time for both of you and can turn into a debate or even an argument.

Finally, find a way to appreciate the people you are saying “no” to.  With a telemarketer, you can always thank them for taking the time to call you and if they are cheerful on the phone, thank them for being cheerful on the phone.

With a significant other, end the conversation where you said “no” by taking the opportunity to let them know how much they mean to you.   The trick with appreciating the people that you are saying “no” to, is to be authentic in your praise and not just say a bunch of stuff to make them feel better.

The ability to say “No” to requests in a way that doesn’t create drama is a wonderful tool to have.  Have fun saying “No!”

 Game of the Day

How can you honor the next person that you say “No” to, while, at the same time, still be very clear in your “No?”