One of the Greatest Gifts You Can Give

Our feelings communicate through what we do and often come to be felt by a community extending far beyond us, even to people we will never officially meet.

I believe that our happiness is one of the greatest gifts we can give others.  Others feed on and are nourished by our happy energy.

(Now, Jason, is that any way to begin a blog?  Can I give a gift of reality?  It sounds like you are frolicking in some utopian, sugar-coated, obnoxiously bright-colored land of FLUFF.)

Thank you voice in the ( ), you always keep me honest.  Let me give you a concrete example.

Say you are given a choice between two different elegant seven-course meals.  The waiter tells you the description of each meal and they sound exactly the same.

You say, “I don’t get it.  Both options you described are identical.”

The waiter grins and says, “Not quite, Meal # 1 is being prepared by a chef who’s really happy with how his day is going.”

You ask, “What about Meal # 2?”

The waiter offers, “Meal # 2 is being created by a chef who happens to be bitter, angry, upset and downright sad with how his day is progressing.”

You consider this and ask, “Which chef has more experience?”

“Good question,” the waiter exclaims, “both chefs are very creative and have comparable skill levels.”

Would you choose Meal #1 or Meal #2?

Neither chef has ever met you, AND THE FEELINGS THEY ARE PRESENTLY FEELING HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, yet how they are feeling could well have an impact on the quality of your food.

(So the chef having a bad day prepares an awful meal for me.  So what?  I have had some bad tasting food before and I survived. How could his mood affect the people he has never met?)

Good question, ( )!  Say you choose Meal #2 and now are frustrated and even downright angry at how poor your meal tasted.  So you tell the manager, who apologizes and gives you a lousy five dollar coupon off to be used the next time you dine with them.

Now you’re really mad because you had expected the manager to give you this meal free, plus a coupon for an additional free meal.

Then you run some errands and are cranky with the bank teller, the grocery store clerk, the lawn mower repairman, and the gal at the hardware store.

At the end of the workday, they all go home and complain about having such a cranky customer and it just goes on and on.

And it all started because a chef working behind the scenes in a kitchen was having a bad day. 

(Of course, I would just let the bad food and the manager’s response go, and be extravagantly nice to all the rest of the people I interacted with that day.)

That’s so good, ( ).  But do you see that many people might not choose your approach, and instead carry the chef’s bad mood that appeared in his food with them through the rest of their day?

(Yes, I see how it works.  I guess our unhappiness really does affect others, even possibly people we will never actually meet.  But it still sounds a bit cheesy.)

I know, ( ).  It does.  But in practice I’ve found it to be very true.

And the opposite is true, too.  When we choose to create happiness in our lives, that happiness can ripple out to touch people we will never even meet.

(It’s truly phenomenal how powerful our moods are.)

Say ( ), you remind me of a Muppet like Grover.  Can I start to call you Grover?

(Now Jason, I am practically agreeing with the point you are trying to make.  Don’t push your luck!)

Game of the Day

When you are happy, how can you best appreciate the impact your happiness has on the world?

When you are experiencing a time that is more difficult like it was for the chef preparing Meal #2, how do you handle that situation in a way that both respects your feelings and at the same time respects those around you?

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com

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Friday One Minute of Excitement

Be the Smile You Want to See In the World

Click on the link to watch the video for a one-minute inspirational blast!

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com

Friday One Minute of Excitement

How long has it been since you just walked and laughed?

Click on the link to watch the video for a one-minute inspirational blast!

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com. 

Happiness Now Leads To Happiness in the Future

Have your ever thought, “If I can JUST get through this, THEN I will be HAPPY?

I sure have!  Many times throughout my life, I have gritted my teeth and endured whatever I happened to be doing in hopes of future happiness.  (In fact, I now where a bite-guard because I used to grit my teeth so much.  True story!)

What I’ve found through a colossal amount of teeth gritting is that gritting your teeth leads naturally to more gritting your teeth because it’s often easier to keep doing the same thing than to change what you’re doing.

Luckily for our teeth, the opposite is also true – Smiling leads naturally to more smiling.

As a writer, I feel the above sentence sounds simple and catchy, but I also realize that I need to offer an example if it’s going to be of much use to any of us (myself included).

Something as ordinary as buying groceries can be an emotional experience of either teeth gritting or smiling.  By emotional experience, I don’t necessarily mean tears and drama, but I think that how we choose to use our emotions in the grocery checkout line will affect our emotional experience and the emotional experience of those around us.

Check it out! (And pardon the pun!) A smiling person could go through the grocery checkout line, ask the clerk “What’s amazing about your day?” and have a wonderful short talk.

On the other hand, a person who happens to be in a teeth gritting mood could say teeth gritting things to the clerk like “Your groceries are way too expensive!  How do you expect your customers to live?  Shame on you for working here.”  This person might say these things in hopes of the future happiness of easing their stress about grocery shopping and maybe even getting the grocery store to lower their prices.

Both the smiling and gritting customers will be able purchase their groceries, but the feelings around getting their groceries and eating the food they bought will probably be completely different, not to mention the feelings of the clerk.  It’s very likely that the experience the customers have next time they go in the store will be completely different.  Which customer will the staff in the store be more happy to see?

In addition, it’s unlikely that the teeth gritting customer’s comments will do anything to lower his stress about shopping or get the store to lower its prices.

If just going through the grocery checkout line can be an emotional experience of smiling or teeth gritting (or somewhere in between), think about the power of the emotions we consistently feel as we go about achieving our goals and dreams.

Game of the Day

When do you notice you smile as you pursue your goals and dreams?

When do you notice you grit your teeth as you pursue your goals and dreams?

What’s your next step?

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com. 

Make Joy Treaties With the People In Your Life

Any two people, be they acquaintances, close friends, or romantic partners, can look at the same sunset and have two completely different experiences.  One person can be in absolute awe of how pristine the sunset is and find the experience of the sunset to be utterly joyful.  While the other person can be worried about the huge To-Do list that he or she feels urgency to accomplish.  This second person might find the experience of watching the sunset much less than joyful and almost downright frustrating.

While their experiences of watching the sunset are very different, these two people are both responsible for the quality of the interaction they have with one another as they watch the sunset.  They can either be kind and generous in their words to each other or they can complain and argue with one another

Each one of us is ultimately responsible for the degree of joy we feel or don’t feel at any given moment.  Yet in interactions, we work with whomever we happen to be interacting with to make the interaction more or less joyful.

When two people interact with each other, they each have the opportunity to shape the quality and feelings of that experience.  Complaining and arguing can become a major part of any two people’s interactions, almost to the point where it seems as if complaining and arguing is the agreed upon focus of the relationship.  This focus can be exhausting, hurtful and stressful, not to mention, that it’s not much fun.

Considering this I got to wondering, what would it be like if the vast majority of our interactions with people close to us were full of joy?

If we step back and think about it, isn’t this really the life we want for the people close to us and ourselves?

So towards this end, I’m beginning to make JOY TREATIES with my friends and family.  Whereas a peace treaty focuses the participants’ attention on choosing to create peace, a JOY TREATY focuses participants’ attention on choosing to create joy.  Isn’t this a fun idea?

Will a JOY TREATY with somebody guarantee that we never again complain and argue with him or her?  Of course not!  We are human so we want room to complain and argue when things are going really poorly.  But just as a compass can serve as a guide when we find ourselves lost in the woods, a JOY TREATY can serve as a guide when we find ourselves lost in complaining or arguing.

JOY TREATIES can make a difference.  Just think of how absolutely FUN it would be if the vast majority of the conversations you had were full of joy. (If the vast majority of your conversations are already filled with joy, definitely celebrate that.)  Can you imagine somebody asking you when the last time you argued or complained was and looking at him or her funny and saying, “It’s been so long, I honestly have no idea.”  How GREAT would that be?  How much FUN would that be?

Joy Treaty

{_NAME___} and {_NAME___} hereby freely and happily agree to endeavor to create joy in all of our interactions.

We acknowledge that at all times the choice to feel joyful or other than joyful is an individual choice, and that we are each ultimately responsible for feeling our own joy.

Within this understanding of our freedom to feel our own joy, we are creating the intention to have joy be what we are seeking in our interactions and in our shared experiences together. We are choosing to see the best in each other and bring out the best in each other, simply because it brings us so much joy.

This Joy Treaty can serve as a compass to guide us back towards joy when we find ourselves complaining or arguing. We acknowledge that there are countless emotions that come up in close relationships, both joyful and not so joyful. This Joy Treaty is not an agreement to fake joy regardless of how we are feeling. Rather, when we are feeling bad, frustrated or angry in our relationship, to authentically and gently share those feelings as a way of getting back on a path that leads to joy. To authentically share hard feelings takes courage and integrity, which is part of what makes the path of creating intentional joy a deeply rewarding path.

Joy is one of the highest emotions that we as humans can feel. Because it feels so good, we choose to find joy in our relationship as a way of living our lives more fully.

We hereby agree to abide by the goodness within this Joy Treaty.

_________________________
Signature of Participant One

_________________________
Date

_________________________
Signature of Participant Two

_________________________
Date

 Game of the Day

  1. Who do you want to make a JOY TREATY with?
  2. Print off the JOY TREATY above or compose you own.
  3. Show it to the person you want to make the JOY TREATY with.
  4. If they agree to it, have a JOY TREATY signing party.
  5. Enjoy the fruits of the JOY TREATY in your relationship.

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com. 

Friday One Minute of Excitement

Do what you love as long as it doesn’t give you a stomach ache.

Click on the link to watch the video for a one-minute inspirational blast!

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com. 

Friday One Minute of Excitement

Claim the Miracle of Your Life!

Click on the link to watch the video for a one-minute inspirational blast!

Jason Freeman is a professional writer, and a one-of-a-kind public speaker.  He is the founder and CEO of Heroic Yes! Productions. Jason has an MFA in Poetry from the University of Nebraska.  He knows the pain of perceiving one’s life through a lens of limitation and also the thrill of moving beyond that mindset.  For more information on Jason’s powerful message, or to book him to present to your organization, go to www.HeroicYesProductions.com.