Last Friday night (ironically the day I posted the Confidently Alone blog), I realized that I had no one to go out to supper with.
Now where to eat? I considered the vegetarian restaurant, which I adore, but have eaten at many times. Then somehow I went from considering that option to ending up at a gourmet hamburger joint. (I’m a vegetarian, except for when on the rare occasion I’m definitely not).
As I walk into this establishment, whom do I happen to meet? Resistance!
You see I look around and all of the people dining are in groups of two or more. And they seem to be happily conversing with each other. And holiday music is playing. It’s a perfect time for family and couple time. Then here I am, ALONE! In my mind, I am definitely meeting Resistance.
Have you ever walked into a social environment and met Resistance?
At that moment, instead of feeling Confidently Alone, I felt definitely Un-cool. My intention was to enjoy a great treat of a meal, but instead it appeared that I was going to meet Resistance and that he had the intention of talking my ear off.
Then, I could have sworn Resistance whispered in the hostess ear, for one section was filled with happy people full of holiday spirit, while the other section was completely vacant.
And the waitress took me over to the completely vacant section. Great! Now I was sitting by myself in a whole section of empty tables. This was turning into one heck of a festive experience!
At this point, Resistance was screaming in my head, “Just Leave. This Is Guaranteed-Not-Cool.”
When is the last time Resistance screamed in your head, “Just Leave. This Is Guaranteed-Not-Cool”?
Right then, I was more Miserably Alone, than Confidently Alone.
(I could have run home and drowned my Guaranteed-Not-Coolness in TV. But I choose not to own a TV. Gracious, even Un-cool.)
If we metaphorically meet Resistance face-to-face with a handshake, we have the option of excusing ourselves from the interaction and choosing a different course. Whereas, if we are too frustrated or fearful of Resistance to look Resistance in the eye and keep Resistance at arm’s length, Resistance can overwhelm us.
Luckily, for my tummy and my spirits, I took charge of my interaction with Resistance and kept Resistance at arm’s length as I took a deep breath and gazed at the menu.
Slowly, I noticed that my waitress was a very nice person. I ordered an amazing meal and savored every bite (probably a few too many bites of Cajun fries). But I savored every one.
When I became more content and at peace with my experience, Resistance lost interest and wandered off to do something else.
Reflecting upon my meal at the gourmet burger joint, I notice that people weren’t coming up to me in droves to say, “Hey, Jason, it’s Guaranteed-Not-Cool that you are dining alone.” In fact, no one came up and said that, except for Resistance who I met inside my own head.
Game of the Day
The next time you meet Resistance in a social environment, how will you take charge of the interaction?
The next time you feel Guaranteed-Not-Cool, notice if this opinion is coming from any outside source or Resistance inside your head.